grey is my favorite color

I just read this sentence..."her ambivalence between letting go and hanging on intensifies..."

One in the same I suppose, hanging on and letting go.  Both are extremes, holding tight to something, clutching it for dear life, or letting it loose, free to run through you fingers like ribbon, unsure if you will ever hold it again.  Both hold a sense of urgency and perceived relief.  Somehow if you hold it, it will be safe right?  Or if you let it go, it will be better, safer out there doing whatever it is programed to do.  The holding and releasing are only major functions of the one doing the holding or releasing, the object is not what is important, the attachment to the object is what causes all the fuss.  The issue is never really the issue, it is how one reacts to the issue.  

This letting go and hanging on business are made up concepts, fooling us into thinking that we "care" or have roots.  These earthly constraints, these conditions that we learn and adhere to are sometimes so cleanly unlearned, yet sticky in practice.  That quoted sentence I started with is about a daughter experiencing her mother's death.  There is such honest beauty in the gray area of her ambivalence between those two concepts.  Certainly in times of death...what can one do other than reside in that space between here and there, where it is neither safe nor unsafe, neither exciting nor depressing.  That space simply is, just like life simply is.  We try to make it much messier than it is, and we try to clean up the messes that we make.  What would happen if we could all just observe and not judge and not try to fix everything?